step 2

步驟 2





第二步： 客戶做他們的事情 已被指示做

第二步，使[頭腦清醒]不同於僅僅相互來回交流， 是個人 你現在正在幫助執行你告訴他做的事情 ，並告訴你 他 因遵守你的指示 而 想出了 什麼。 8

當 客戶 得到 指示並遵守時， 應該可以看到他們已經進入並 尋找 真正的回應。 他們已經這樣做了，他們真誠地尋找 ，然後他們找到了一些東西並 傳達了它。

雷切爾，更清楚的人：事實上， 我和露西一起 檢查 過。 我 吩咐 她'告訴我 她 是什麼時候



快樂。她 似乎真的聽到了我的聲音，然後她會移開視線幾秒鐘 “我記得我 四歲的時候 ，和姐姐在花園裡玩耍。 感覺真的很開心。陽光明媚，我們正在打扮， 跑來跑去笑著。

露西，客戶：瑞秋會給 我像這裡這樣的指示。我花了一點時間才真正 感謝她想要一個直接的答案。 現在這看起來很奇怪，但 實際上一開始看到很奇怪 這才是真正想要的。 我學會了 真正聽到她想要什麼 然後進去尋求對我來說非常真實的回應。有時是 很難說出來，但我逐漸學會了 為我說 真話，就像那樣 和姐姐在一起，快樂。



第二步實際上包括兩個動作：1） 尋找和2）溝通 他們發現了什麼。可能是他們看了看，什麼也找不到。如果發生這種情況，那麼通常情況下 ，這是因為他們被困住了 ，而不是 真的 什麼都沒有 他們已經做了他們認為不應該做的事情 已經做到了。在這種情況下，需要鼓勵他們回去再看一遍，直到他們 想出一些東西，無論大小 。

沒有其他人可以做到這一點 這個人。 學習和進步只能來自自己動手 。 Clearer可能 確定他們知道客戶在摸索什麼。 因為向他們提供這種見解似乎是最有説明的事情。 這是一個錯誤。可以 準確地 解釋他們想要什麼，以及為什麼，需要多少次，以盡可能多的 方式 。

每 [清除溝通週期]必須包含您正在幫助的個人 的行動 。 如果沒有，那麼你 所做的只是 操縱他或與他聊天，這可能是 非常好 和愉快的，但 不會 有任何增加 在 能力。所以他必須按照你的指示採取行動。9



只是偶爾有人會看看裡面做 問了什麼，但他們 什麼也找不到 。 如果他們真的看過，這沒關係。 他們按照吩咐 做了， 並報告了回來。 但大多數情況下會有一些 東西可以聯繫起來， 而清除者的工作是看到 他們 清楚地做到這一點。

那裡 很多 東西可能會 在第二步出錯。 例如，一些 人們很容易偏離切線，不回答問題或指示。 在日常的談話中，這種情況一直在 進行 ;他們可能會陷入隨意的聯繫中。 思潮。10 人們被另一件事 提醒，觸發第三件事 東西，等等 。 這是有道理的 ，因為一件事與 下一個; 但這些是鏈條，11 它們在頭腦中 是隨機相關的。 這些聯繫是沒有意義的，傾聽它們，雖然通常是 社會規範， 但如果目的是 實際上是為了提供真正的説明和救濟 從頭腦。

指令可能是 “告訴我 你做了 一些你認為你不應該做的事情，”他們會想到一些事情。或 他們記得他們 踢了貓一次，一直對此感到難過。 他們可能會也可能 不會報告這一點，如果他們沒有，那麼 這本身就是一個問題。 無論如何 ，這個想法可能會引發一個關於貓的故事，然後 也許是一個關於鄰居的貓的故事等等，直到清除者失去了 完全是線程，這個人現在正在談論他們在加勒比海的航海假期和 Clearer正在努力 回到 正題。

這種胡說八道 應儘快停止。 人們最初可能會 有點 驚訝 被打斷，特別是如果他們有其他一些 鼓勵的治療種類 它。儘管如此，他們必須善意但堅定地 被打斷，必須 追求遵守， 否則迴圈 將是 破碎。 合規性和週期 有所説明。 必須 充分表達和理解回應，直到該人完成為止，但不能超過此。 它可能會觸發一些見解，這可能是 陽性。但這是一個 判斷電話。 如果見解 顯然是真正新的東西，並且 對 客戶有價值，那麼 重要的是要聽聽他們要說什麼，並可能鼓勵他們 說 更多的話 放電 它完全來自頭腦。 另一方面 ，可能看起來什麼



最初像切線在某些情況下可能不是 。 有些人 需要時間來解決問題 ，如果他們 被要求 解釋相關性 他們在 說什麼，他們就可以做到。 至少一開始，他們可能會 需要講述整個故事以解釋合規性;它不會 在沒有上下文的情況下對他們來說是完整的。在他們看來，他們的更清晰的需求 瞭解這些背景內容以瞭解 合規性。 人們 在這方面差異很大。 但如果它只是從一個跳躍 想到鏈條中的另一個人，它應該停止。合規性應為 尋求，然後 清除者必須繼續 到下一條指令。

另一個陷阱是 更清楚在他們之前沒有弄清楚 下達了指示，因此客戶不清楚他們想要什麼或沒有 出於其他原因理解它。如果他們不瞭解 指示，清除者有責任 對其進行整理 並 傳達。

有一個 適合 [客戶]水準的好指導是 值得的，但無論指導有多好， 除非您知道自己在追求什麼，否則它將無法正常工作。 確保[用戶端]已經得到了它，確保 [客戶]對他已經回答了這個問題感到滿意，並確保 你準確地看到[客戶]是如何 看到 的。 這是一個 答案或遵守。如果你 不要遵循此程式， 無論問題或說明或 技術是，無論 它多麼合適， 它都不會起作用。 12

或者，用戶端可能會給出 Clearer 不會的 回應 理解為合規性。

清明者下達了指示：「告訴我 一些事情 他們認為他們不應該這樣做。鮑勃對此的回應是：「我 笑了。在這種情況下，Clearer不知道Bob指的是 什麼 ，因此無法 判斷 它是否 合規 。 所以他檢查了一下，果然，鮑勃可以很容易地解釋指令 立刻勾起了嘲笑弟弟的記憶，當他 摔倒了，割傷了他的手，對此感到 內疚。 這是一種 合規 因為 這是他認為 他不應該做的事情



已經做到了。一旦解釋，清除者就明白了， 承認遵守情況。 該週期已完成。



這個人是來尋求説明的，而清除者 只是在那裡 幫助他們。雖然它可能 阻止他們全力以赴似乎並不禮貌，這樣做是在 幫助他們 ，即使他們 發現，他們最終也會感激它 一開始有點不禮貌或奇怪 。 事實上，如果他們不 保持在 直線和狹窄上，他們將很快對更清晰和 過程失去信心 ， 因為讓他們漫無邊際將沒有任何意義 幫助，他們會 在某種程度上知道這一點。

用戶端可能不是 對給出的指示感興趣，並決定回答一些替代指示 自己;如果是這種情況 ， 重新評估目前正在 處理 的領域並找到更符合 該人 所在位置的內容可能是相關的。 但這 也可能 是一種 逃避，因此 追求它 至關重要 ，直到 客戶接近他們正在避免的東西並離開 或者偶爾重新構建正在處理 的問題區域。

Berner 描述 的 最常見的 問題是用戶端：

甚至不考慮、思考或冥想 您的指示，或 他在最膚淺的層面上這樣做。 因為他還沒有學會如何 主觀地或從自己身上執行某事，所以 他沒有 執行指令。13

在這種情況下，必須幫助客戶理解 想要什麼，這樣他們才能做到。他們可能不知道如何 看看裡面。這對他們來說可能根本沒有意義 ，因為他們從未嘗試 過，也沒有人嘗試過。 以前讓他們做 ，那他們怎麼會知道？

客戶向內看和溝通的能力 可能 比人們想像的要差得多。 它們可能表現為調整良好的， 有意識的，有工作能力的個人，有 一份房子和 家庭一切看起來都很正常，但當它歸結為 細節時 諮詢自己並報告 他們實際 發生的事情， 他們處於 未知領域。

如果是這種情況 ，他們將不得不 得到指導，也許是 詳細的 ， 如何向內看並遵守。 有必要從小處著手



並構建。這可能意味著解釋合規性 並且要精確。當很明顯他們正在盡力而為時 向內看並遵守 通過指示並傳達結果 ，這必須 暫時 接受。 清除者可能知道 合規性不完整 ，但下次 會 更深入、更清晰，他們已經開始了， 並且取得了 進展。 這 客戶可能會在會議結束後回家，向他們的配偶解釋更多的事情 比以往任何時候都清楚 以前。這可能是革命性的 他們的家庭。

然而，在某些情況下，這個人可能不會 傳達 出 足以 讓它 被接受為一個 合規。 他們來 參加會議是因為在某種程度上他們 不太擅長溝通。所以，即使他們看過裡面和 想出一個 回應並試圖傳達它，他們可能還沒有把它 傳達到足以 被識別出來。 許多人都是 如此 人。 他們 四處走動，確信他們已經像任何人一樣清楚，但實際上沒有人 真正理解他們在說什麼，沒有人 投入 工作 來試圖 弄清楚 它。 對於這樣的人 ，更 清晰可能並不像 只是擴展 思想; 他們不是 真的很確定他們自己在說什麼。他們需要 説明。

更清晰永遠不應該太 對此嚴格要求。只要溝通能夠被足夠清楚地理解為合規並認識到客戶 正在盡力而為，這應該暫時接受 ; 這是一個 開始。 但幫助他們更清楚地瞭解這一點至關重要 他們在說什麼，並把它們拉出來，直到他們對 自己和 更清晰的人更有意義。

一個很好的例子 對我來說，這是威爾遜。他在生活的某些方面非常有能力， 專業上非常成功。但是當談到某些 他與周圍人的關係存在問題，例如更多 週邊朋友和他認為 在社區中 具有權威的人，他讓自己穿越的能力下降了 戲劇性地，他感到不知所措和壓力，以至於他甚至 努力找出問題所在。 最後，他把它簡化為這樣的東西，“當我感到愚蠢和自我意識時， 我感到愚蠢和自我意識。



我 生命中的一些人必須打交道 。 我們逐漸解決這個問題 ，直到他更 清楚實際發生了什麼。 對他來說，充電水準降低到他可以的程度 在它周圍多放鬆一下，進一步工作到他很少困擾的地方。 它。但首先，對於威爾遜來說，僅僅解決一個可命名的問題 是非常困難的。他 來到會議時，知道他想解決這種困難感， 但是，當我要求他更多地談論 這個問題時，他 張口結舌，發現很難專注於這個問題， 因為它是 所以在他的腦海裡聚集在一起。 最後他說，『有些人 讓我 真的很緊張。 從那時起，我們慢慢地描繪了 在這些情況下發生的事情 ， 更清楚了。



預扣稅是另一個常見問題。事實上，整個問題 的心靈可以 說 是一大問題 扣繳。但是這有不同的層次。原因有很多 當一個人向內看以找到合規性時，他們可能不會 傳達他們 會遇到 什麼。 他們拒絕溝通。例如，他們可能會為自己 所想到的事情感到 羞恥，並認為 如果他們說出來，他們就不會 受到尊重或喜歡。 或者他們可能不說，因為他們認為沒有人 可能 理解; 以前，沒有人明白， 那麼為什麼要 這次眼前的人有什麼 不同嗎？ 或者他們 不完全明白他們遇到了什麼。

出於這些原因之一，他們 不要真正傳達出現的內容，或者他們說了其他內容，或者只有一小部分他們認為會滿足他們的 Clearer 並獲得 他們從他們的背上下來。這裡有充足的出錯機會，因為如果忽略這一點並且 Clearer繼續 接受其中任何一個 作為合規性， 那麼迴圈將被打亂，不會有任何進展。如果這樣，他們會失去信心 不合規是可以接受的，即使這就是它們 提出。他們會在某種程度上知道它，如果它發生得太頻繁，他們可能不會 回來。 無論如何 ， 清除者最終將不得不 稍後傳回 並工作 出了什麼 問題，因為它 是一個



各方之間的 流動中斷 ，它將 阻止 進展

– 也許不完全，但它 會被 堵塞。

詹姆斯在來上課時有很多 扣留 要開始 。 我們逐漸處理了很多潛在的羞恥感。但起初， 他臉上經常會出現一種暗示有什麼事情來了的表情 當我要求他多說一些事情時。 然後他經常 搖搖頭，幾乎不知不覺地，環顧四周， 想 說點別的話 。 他總是盡力 如實回答，但他 經常不說出他腦海中浮現的第一件事。第一件事 經常充滿 焦慮，有時 羞恥。事實上，他非常擔心可能出現 什麼，以至於他迴避 了第一個想法，以防 它們可恥並嚴格審查他的回答。 ，即使他真的想到了 關於它，很難想出他真正感受到的東西 羞。

當我問他首先想到了什麼時，他會說，『啊，沒什麼。 重要。我和他一起努力工作，漸漸地他 開始 表達其中的一部分 ：“哦，我不太喜歡自己。 那次，但我現在結束了，我接受自己』; 甚至 「真的什麼都沒想出來 ，我只是想了想 我以後要 做什麼。 需要一些技巧才能知道要追求這些答案中的哪一個，因為 很明顯他正在盡最大 努力 交流出現的情況 ，並對 他的一些事情感到壓力很大 憋著。

然後，有一天，他進來說 ，『我 決定不說這個， 但我要 無論如何『，然後繼續告訴我 關於他一直隱瞞的過去，關於他的行為方式 一筆令他感到非常羞愧的商業交易。他還告訴我，就 他很擔心，他從來沒有向任何人展示過真實的自己。這對 他。但光是說這些話，他的神態立刻就輕鬆了。他 讓自己穿越的能力 塞申斯，也在他的餘生中，跳躍起來，他的生意也 又開始蓬勃發展。



清除者可以自己破壞迴圈 因為沒有正確傾聽。它們可能是由某些東西觸發的 客戶說要考慮 自己的問題， 例如與母親一起思考， 否則他們可能會分心 考慮他們 晚餐 要 做什麼，或者 他們需要 做賬。 在 無論如何，當客戶交流並且 沒有完全理解或錯過關鍵單詞或短語時，他們會考慮其他事情。 在此 在這種情況下，清明者需要要求他們 再說一遍。

一個人可能沒有 正確傾聽的另一種方式是 他們以一種狹隘的方式傾聽 ，因為他們在判斷客戶在說什麼，甚至可能不是有意識的。

金妮：我意識到我聽到了瑞秋在說什麼 關於她覺得她應該做更多的事情來説明她的母親，但儘管它進入 了我的耳朵，我一直在想，到目前為止， 到目前為止 正如我所擔心的那樣，她做得綽綽有餘。所以我犯了一個錯誤 幾乎摧毀了整個會議。我告訴她，她正在給自己一個真正的 辛苦了，已經為她的母親做了很多事情，也許她應該工作 為自己爭取一些支援。

我一說出來，我就覺得 說 錯了。 瑞秋 用一種奇怪的方式看著我，我看得出來， 我只是沒有認真 地聽我說話。 她真正關心的是什麼。 無論 她 是否明智地審視 自己的 支持系統， 那都不是會議的地方。 在這一點上，對瑞秋來說至關重要 的是 我真的理解她對母親的悲傷和她的存在感 不足。我自己關於什麼是 合理的觀念幾乎 完全遮罩了我面前試圖表達她困難感受的真實人物。 據 我所知， 我是 她傾訴 的第一個人，我去執行一些任務，而不是和她在一起，根本不瞭解 她的情況。 即使 我是 對的，後來 認為瑞秋可以看看 她自己的支持系統是 顯而易見的，但錯誤在於沒有 瞭解她的一切情況並做出自己的 判斷，這是



其實在很多方面都和她的真實大相徑庭 感覺什麼適合她做。



如果Clearer認為客戶並沒有真正按照指示遵守規定，即使客戶可能認為他們是，而Clearer 什麼也沒做 為了阻止這種情況，那麼清除者將變得困倦。他們必須思考 返回。有沒有一些他們 不相信的東西沒有受到挑戰？？

更清楚：告訴我 你特別的態度如何影響你的生活。

客戶：這意味著 我待人更好。更清楚：好的，是的，謝謝。

在這種情況下，Clearer不確定如何擁有 特別的態度，這就是這位客戶認為他所認為的東西 經常的經歷，讓他待人更好。它需要檢查出來。 放手並承認這是面對不確定性時的合規性 會破壞迴圈。



另一方面，如果用戶端正在回應並且 Clearer很高興他們得到了合規性，但客戶並不是真的 相信他們正在提供適當的合規性，那麼 客戶就會昏昏欲睡。 如果發生這種情況，清除者將需要檢查 了解客戶的情況並讓他們解釋 他們的合規性更多，直到兩者都得到 他們完成。

更清晰：告訴我“我很特別”的態度如何影響 生活中的你。

客戶：嗯，我想我在 工作中往往 很積極主動， 並提出新的目標。 專案。

更清楚：謝謝。告訴我另一種方式，以“我很特別” 的態度四處走動會影響你的 生活。

客戶：特別意味著 我更好地對待別人。



更清楚：好的，謝謝。告訴我另一種方式 “我很特別”的態度會影響你的生活。

客戶：嗯...好吧，我想 有時 可能會讓我 有點刻薄......就像當人們 在事情上不如我時，我有時會變得不耐煩。

更清楚：謝謝，是的，我明白了。告訴我另一種方式 “我很特別”的態度會影響你的生活。

客戶：（相當長的停頓）我不確定，真的。我想我以為我在 特別有點傲慢，所以我可能會得罪人。我基本上得到了它 在控制之下，但這聽起來是對的，有些人 被我說的話冒犯了。

更清楚：謝謝。告訴我另一種方式，以“我很特別” 的態度四處走動會影響你的 生活。

客戶：（停頓 時間更長）我不知道，真的。 我不 認為這種態度真的讓我在生活中受到了很多支援。它似乎工作得很好 對我來說大部分時間都很好。

在這種情況下， 聽起來像一片空地 溝通週期，但事實並非如此。 Clearer有一些 以這種態度工作的經驗，所以她借鑒了這一點 以及她自己的案例，並填補 了空白 迴圈 本身。 她明白，到處 認為自己 很特別 會讓你 認為自己 對別人更好，所以這可能是 一個 明確遵守，她犯了一個錯誤，並選擇理解她中的 反應 自己的方式。她沒有檢查出來。



事實上， 客戶 對他的回應 感到 不安 開始。 他給出的順從是他喜歡 認為是真的，但他已經確定這是一種對他 來說是一個問題的態度， 所以呢？ 他是 說是 不符合 的。事實上，他的 Clearer似乎認為沒關係也因為他們擁有的東西而感到困惑 一直在談論這種態度。所以他的判斷感覺很複雜 向上。另一方面，它不需要太多的努力工作 從他那裡，因為他越來越知識化，所以他帶著 上，因為他 渴望 會議 順利進行， 並選擇 假設她


是對的。但當他放鬆到 會議 突然變得如此容易 時，他開始 感到困倦。

有時， 工作階段可能 很難進行，如果清除者放棄 獲取指令 ，會話就會脫軌 給客戶。 週期可能很難 建立，客戶可能 處於 糟糕的狀態， 走長切線，從來沒有真正理解要求他們做什麼 開始理順這種情況。這需要來自更清晰的堅韌和勇氣 ，有時他們實際上放棄 了獲得 對他們的客戶進行 指導。在這種情況下，他們最終可能會得到 足夠愉快的聊天，或者客戶只會從一件事跳到另一件事，但 會話將不起作用。 清除者必須 致力於 說明 用戶端，為此，指令必須清晰，並且必須傳達 ，以便 客戶端獲得並遵守。 實現這一目標需要 多長時間 並不重要。 這就是工作。一旦它回到正軌， 隨著指令的明確，能量會恢復 ，可能已經積累起來的混亂感也會消失。 那種糊塗的感覺就是頭腦。






The second step: the client does what they have been instructed to do

The second step, which makes [Mind Clearing] different than just communicating back and forth to each other, is that the individual you are helping now executes what it is that you told him to do and tells you what he came up with as a result of complying with your instruction.8

When the client has got the instruction and complies, it should be possible to see that they have gone inside and looked for a true response. They have done this, they have looked sincerely and then they find something and they communicate it.

Rachel, the Clearer: I checked it out with Lucy, in fact. I gave her the instruction to ‘Tell me a time she was



happy.’ She seemed to really hear me and then she would look away for a few seconds before responding with something like, ‘I remember when I was about four, playing in the garden with my sister and feeling really happy. The sun was shining and we were dressing up and running round laughing.’

Lucy, the client: Rachel would give me an instruction like the one here. It took me a little while to really appreciate that she wanted a straight answer to her question. Now that seems strange, but it was actually strange to start with to see that this was really what was wanted. I learned to really hear what she wanted and then go inside for a response that was really true for me. Sometimes it was difficult to say it, but I gradually learned to just say the truth for me, like that time with my sister and being happy.



Step two actually consists of two actions: 1) looking and 2) communicating what they found. It might be that they looked and could not find anything. If this happens, then more often than not, it is because they are stuck rather than there really is nothing they have done they think they should not have done. In this case, they will need to be encouraged to go back and look again until they come up with something, however big or small.

No one else can do this for the person. The learning and progress can only come from doing it themselves. The Clearer might be certain they know what the client is groping around for and it can seem like the most helpful thing to offer that insight to them. That is an error. It can be explained exactly what is wanted from them, and why, as many times and in as many ways as it takes.

Every [clearing communication cycle] must contain an action by the individual that you are helping. If it doesn’t, then all you are doing is just manipulating him or chatting with him, which might be very nice and pleasant but there won’t be any increase in ability. So he must carry out an action in compliance with your instruction.9



Just occasionally someone will look inside and do what was asked but there was nothing they could find. This is OK if they have really looked. They did what they were told to do and reported back. But mostly there will be something to relate and it is the Clearer’s job to see that they do this clearly.

There is plenty that can go awry with the second step. For instance, some people easily go off on tangents and do not respond to the question or instruction. In day-to-day conversation this goes on all the time; they might get stuck in casual connected thoughts.10 People are reminded of something by another thing that triggers a third thing, and so forth. It makes a kind of sense in that one thing is sort of related to the next; but these are chains,11 they are related randomly in the mind. The connections are meaningless, and listening to them, while often the social norm, is unhelpful if the purpose is actually to offer real help and relief from the mind.

The instruction might be to ‘Tell me something you did that you think you shouldn’t have done,’ and they think of something. Maybe they remember they kicked the cat one time and have always felt bad about it. They may or may not actually report this, and if they did not, then that is a problem in itself. In any case, the thought may trigger a story about the cat and then maybe a story about their neighbour’s cat and so on until the Clearer has lost the thread entirely and the person is now talking about their sailing holiday in the Caribbean and the Clearer is struggling to get back to the point.

This kind of random talking should be stopped as quickly as possible. People might be a bit surprised to be interrupted initially, especially if they have had some other kinds of therapy which encourage it. Nonetheless, they must kindly, but firmly, be interrupted and the compliance must be pursued, or the cycle will be broken. It is the compliance and cycle that helps. The response must be expressed and understood fully, until the person is complete on it, but not more than this. It may trigger some insights and that might be positive. But this is a judgement call. If the insights are clearly something really new and valuable to the client, then it is important to hear what they have to say and possibly encourage them to say more to discharge it completely from the mind. On the other hand, what might look



initially like a tangent may not be in some instances. Some people take time to work their way round to a compliance, and if they are asked to explain the relevance of what they are saying, they can do so. At least to start with, they may need to tell the whole story in order to explain the compliance; it would not be complete for them without the context. As they see it, their Clearer needs to know this background stuff in order to understand the compliance. People vary in this enormously. But if it is just jumping from one thought to another in a chain, it should be stopped. The compliance should be sought and then the Clearer must go on to the next instruction.

Another pitfall is that the Clearer did not get the thought straight before they gave the instruction and the client was consequently unclear on what was wanted of them or did not understand it for some other reason. If they have not understood the instruction, it is the Clearer’s responsibility to sort it out and get it across.

It pays to have a good instruction that’s appropriate to the [client’s] level, but no matter how good the instruction is, it won’t work unless you know what it is you’re after. Make sure the [client] has got it, make sure the [client] is satisfied that he has answered it and make sure you see exactly how the [client] sees that this is an answer or compliance to that. If you don’t follow that procedure, it doesn’t matter how good the question or the instruction or the technique is, it doesn’t matter how appropriate it is, it won’t work.12

Alternatively, the client might give a response the Clearer does not understand as a compliance.

The Clearer gave the instruction to ‘Tell me something they think they should not have done.’ Bob’s response to this was to say, ‘I laughed.’ The Clearer in this case had no idea what Bob was referring to and so could not judge whether or not it was a compliance. So he checked it out and, sure enough, Bob could easily explain that the instruction had immediately triggered a memory of laughing at his little brother when he fell down and cut his hand and feeling guilty about it. It was a compliance because it was something he thought he should not



have done. Once it was explained, the Clearer got it and acknowledged the compliance. The cycle was completed.



The person has come for help and the Clearer is only there to help them. While it may not seem polite to stop them in full flow, it is helping them by doing so and they will appreciate it finally, even if they find it a bit impolite or odd in the beginning. In fact, they will rapidly lose faith in the Clearer and the process if they are not kept on the straight and narrow, because allowing them to ramble will not be of any help and they will know this on some level.

The client may not be interested in the instruction given and decide to answer some alternative instruction of their own; if this is the case, it may be relevant to reassess the area currently being worked on and find something more in line with where the person is. But it may also be an avoidance, so it is vital to pursue it until either the client approaches what they are avoiding and goes on, or, occasionally, the problem area being worked on is reframed.

The most common problem as Berner describes it is that the client:

doesn’t even consider or contemplate or meditate on your instruction at all, or he does it on the most superficial level. Because he hasn’t learned how to execute something subjectively or from himself, he does not execute the instruction.13

In this case the client must be helped to understand what is wanted so they can do it. They might not know how to look inside. It simply might make no sense to them because they have never tried it and no one has ever asked them to do it before, so how would they know?

A client’s ability to look inside and communicate might be a lot worse than one assumes it could be. They might present as a well-adjusted, aware, functioning individual with a responsible job, a house and a family all that looks normal, but when it gets down to the details of consulting themselves and reporting what is actually going on for them, they are in unknown territory.

If this is the case, they will have to be instructed, perhaps in detail, on how to look inside and comply. It will be necessary to start small



and build. This may mean explaining about compliance and being precise. When it is clear they are doing their best to look inside and comply with the instruction and communicate what comes up as a result, this must be accepted for the time being. The Clearer may know the compliance is not complete, but next time it will be deeper and clearer, and they have made a start and there has been progress. The client may go home after the session and explain something to their spouse more clearly than they have ever done before. That might be revolutionary in their household.

In some cases, however, the person might not communicate what came up enough for it to be accepted as a compliance. They are coming to sessions because to some degree or another they are not that great at communicating. So, even when they have looked inside and come up with a response and attempted to get it across, they may not have got it across enough for it to be recognised as such. This is true of many people. They go around certain they have been as clear as anyone could be, but in fact no one really understands much of what they are saying and no one puts the work in to try to get clear on it. For such a person, being clearer might not be as easy as just expanding the thought; they are not really certain about what they are saying themselves. They need help.

A Clearer should never be too strict about this. As long as the communication can be understood clearly enough as a compliance and recognised that the client is doing their best, this should be accepted for the time being; it is a start. But it will be vital to help them get clearer on what they are saying and draw them out until they are making better sense to themselves and to the Clearer.

A good example of this for me was Wilson. He was very able in some areas of his life and professionally highly successful. But when it came to talking about certain areas of problem around his relationships with people around him, such as more peripheral friends and people he saw as having authority in the community, his capacity to get himself across dropped dramatically and he felt so overwhelmed and stressed by it that he even struggled to identify the problem. Finally he whittled it down to something like, ‘I feel stupid and self-conscious when I



have to deal with some people in my life.’ We gradually worked through this until he became clearer about what was actually going on for him, and the level of charge was reduced to the point where he could relax more around it and work on it further to where he was rarely troubled by it. But to begin with, just getting to having a nameable problem to work on was extremely hard for Wilson. He came to the session knowing he wanted to work on this feeling of difficulty and stress but, when I asked him to talk more about it, he was tongue-tied and found it tremendously hard to focus on the issue, as it was so clumped up and stuck together in his mind. Eventually he said, ‘Some people make me really nervous.’ From that point we slowly built a picture of what happened in these situations and got clearer on it.



Withholding is another common problem. In fact, the whole problem of the mind can be described as one big problem of withholding. But there are different levels of this. There are many reasons why a person might not communicate what comes up for them when they look inside to find a compliance. They withhold the communication. They might, for instance, be ashamed of what they have thought of and assume they will not be respected or liked if they say it. Or they might not say it because they think no one could possibly understand; before, no one else ever understood, so why should the person in front of them this time be any different? Or they do not entirely understand what came up for them.

For one of these reasons they do not really communicate what came up or they say something else or only a small part of it that they think will satisfy their Clearer and get them off their back. Here is ample opportunity for going wrong because if this is ignored and the Clearer goes ahead and accepts any of these as a compliance, then the cycle will be disrupted and there will be no progress. They will lose faith if this non-compliance is accepted, even though this is what they are presenting. They will know it at some level and if it happens too often, they may not come back. In any case, the Clearer will end up having to go back later and work out what went wrong because it is a



disruption in the flow between the parties and it will halt the progress

– maybe not completely, but it will be clogged up.

James had a lot of withholds to begin with when he came for sessions. There was a lot of underlying shame that we gradually dealt with. But at first, he would regularly have an expression on his face suggesting something had come up when I asked him to say more about something. Then he would often shake his head, almost imperceptibly, and look around for something else to say. He always did his best to respond truthfully, but he often did not say the first thing that came into his head. The first thing was often loaded with anxiety and sometimes shame. In fact, he was so anxious about what might come up that he skirted round first thoughts just in case they were shameful and severely censored his responses, even though when he actually thought about it, it was quite difficult to come up with things of which he really felt ashamed.

When I would ask him what had come up first, he would say, ‘Ah, nothing important.’ I worked hard with him and gradually he began to express a part of it: ‘Oh, I didn’t like myself very much around that time but I’m over it now, I accept myself’; or even ‘Nothing came up really, I just had a thought about what I’ve got to do later.’ It took some skill to know which of these answers to pursue since it was clear he was doing his level best to communicate what came up and felt highly stressed by some of what he was holding back.

Then, one day, he came in and said, ‘I had decided not to say this, but I’m going to anyway’ and proceeded to tell me something about his past he’d been withholding, about the way he had behaved in a business deal of which he felt very ashamed. He told me also that, as far as he was concerned, he had never shown his real self to anyone. This was huge for him. But just saying these things lightened his demeanour immediately. His ability in getting himself across in sessions, and also in the rest of his life, leaped up and his business also started to flourish again.



The Clearer can derail the cycle all by themselves by not listening properly. They could have been triggered by something the client said into thinking about their own problems, with their mother, for instance, or they could simply be distracted by thinking about what they are going to cook for dinner or that they need to do their accounts. In any case, they were thinking about something else when the client was communicating and did not understand fully or missed a crucial word or phrase. In this case, the Clearer will need to ask them to say it again.

Another way a person may not have listened properly is that they were listening in a narrowed way because they were judging what the client was saying, perhaps not even consciously.

Ginny: I realised I was hearing what Rachel was saying about how she feels she should be doing more to help her mother, but although it was going into my ears, I was all the time thinking that, as far as I was concerned, she was doing more than enough. So I made an error that nearly destroyed the whole session. I told her she was giving herself a really hard time and was doing lots for her mother already and perhaps she should work at getting some support for herself.

As soon as I’d said it I could feel it was the wrong thing to say. Rachel looked at me in a strange way and I could see that I just hadn’t been listening properly to what her concerns really were. Whether or not she might be wise to look at her own support systems, that was not where the session was. At that point, it was essential to Rachel that I really understand her sadness about her mother and her feelings of being inadequate. My own ideas about what was reasonable had pretty much completely blocked out the real person in front of me trying to articulate her difficult feelings. From what I understood, I was the first person she was confiding in, and I was off on some mission and not with her and getting how it was for her at all. Even if I was right, and later had thought it was clear that Rachel could do with looking at her own support systems, the error was in not getting how it all was for her and making my own judgement, which was



actually quite different in many respects from her real sense of what was appropriate for her to do.



If the Clearer thinks the client is not really giving a compliance in line with the instruction, even though the client may think they are, and the Clearer does nothing to stop this, then the Clearer will become sleepy. They must think back. Was there something that was left unchallenged that they were not convinced by?

Clearer: Tell me how going around with the attitude that you’re special affects you in life.

Client: It means I treat people better. Clearer: OK, yes, thank you.

In this case, the Clearer was not sure how having an attitude of being special, which is what this client identified as something he often experienced, made him treat people better. It needed to be checked out. Letting this go and acknowledging it as a compliance in the face of uncertainty would derail the cycle.



If, on the other hand, the client is responding and the Clearer is happy they are getting compliances, but the client is not really convinced they are giving proper compliances, then the client will get sleepy. If this happens, the Clearer will need to check out what is going on with the client and get them to explain their compliances more until both get that they are complete.

Clearer: Tell me how going around with the attitude ‘I’m special’ affects you in life.

Client: Well, I suppose I tend to be quite proactive at work and put myself forward for new projects.

Clearer: Thank you. Tell me another way in which going around with the attitude ‘I’m special’ affects you in life.

Client: Being special means I treat people better.



Clearer: OK, thank you. Tell me another way in which going around with the attitude ‘I’m special’ affects you in life.

Client: Um…well, I guess it probably makes me a bit mean sometimes…like when people aren’t as good as I am at things, I can get impatient sometimes.

Clearer: Thank you, yes, I get that. Tell me another way in which going around with the attitude ‘I’m special’ affects you in life.

Client: (quite long pause) I’m not sure, really. I suppose thinking I’m special is a bit arrogant, so I probably offend people. I’ve mostly got it under control, but that sounds right, some people are offended by things I say.

Clearer: Thank you. Tell me another way in which going around with the attitude ‘I’m special’ affects you in life.

Client: (much longer pause) I don’t know, really. I don’t think this attitude really holds me up much in life. It seems to work pretty well for me most of the time.

In this case, it sounds like a clearing communication cycle, but it is not. The Clearer had had some experience of working with this sort of attitude, so she drew on this as well as her own case and filled in the gaps in the cycle herself. She understood how going around thinking you’re special can make you think you’re treating people better, so it could be a clear compliance and she made a mistake and elected to understand the responses in her own way. She did not check it out.



In fact, the client was feeling uneasy about his responses from the start. He was giving compliances he liked to think were true but he had already identified this as an attitude that was a problem for him, so what he was saying was out of line with that. The fact that his Clearer seemed to think it was OK was also confusing because of what they had been talking about with respect to this attitude. So his judgement felt mixed up. On the other hand, it was not requiring much hard work from him because he was increasingly intellectualising, so he carried on, as he was keen for the session to go well, and chose to assume she


was right. But as he relaxed into how easy the session had suddenly become, he started to feel sleepy.

Sometimes a session can be hard going and it will be derailed if the Clearer gives up on getting instructions across to the client. Cycles can be difficult to establish and the client may be in a bad way, going off on long tangents and never really grasping what it is that is being asked of them to start straightening this situation out. This requires tenacity and courage from a Clearer and sometimes they effectively give up on getting the instruction across to their client. In this case, they may end up with a pleasant enough chat or the client will just jump from one thing to another, but the session will not work. The Clearer has to be committed to helping the client, and to do this, the instruction must be clear and it must be communicated so that the client gets it and complies. It does not matter how long it takes to achieve this. This is the work. As soon as it is back on track, with the instruction clear, the energy snaps back and the muddled feeling that has likely built up clears. That muddled feeling is mind.