step 1 P.124 Part III Dealing with the Mind: Mind Clearing; Working with Attitudes

步驟 1





第一步：下達指令

需要發生什麼 清除溝通週期要成功，必須將清晰的想法 傳達給另一個人，以便 他們有任務要執行，並且知道必須 做什麼才能遵守。

。明確你想要你 説明的人 做什麼，並將 這種想法傳達 給他 那個 人明白了。當你這樣做時，這個人就會知道 你想 讓他 做什麼。5

我們大部分 時間在與人的對話中含糊不清; 在這種情況下，模棱兩可 是不 行的。 這個想法，作為一個 理想的指示，但也許是一個問題，必須是 全心全意地傳達給客戶，沒有戲劇性或強調。 清明者也必須 真的很想知道 反應 會是什麼。

例如，如果有明確的想法告訴我一些你後悔的事情（關於特定情況），那麼 在說出來之前，整個想法需要在清晰者的腦海中 直截了當。 那麼它應該清楚地交付 並且完全。 重要的是，客戶要完全理解並接受這種想法，所以 Clearer 必須做任何事情。 需要達到這個目的。 他們可能首先需要 解釋 他們將 發出 指示，如有必要， 為什麼他們在給出 之前 選擇了該特定指示以及 它的含義。

如果你不知道自己在追求什麼，你能做什麼 可能與[客戶]溝通，但困惑？如果您從一張 紙上得到問題並將其交付 給 [客戶] 如果沒有 自己完全瞭解 它， [客戶]會做什麼 接收就是 這樣：一堆 帶有一些模糊想法的單詞，它在一張紙上說 [更清晰]應該問。這是 他將要接受的想法 。 他實際上會得到這個想法，因為這就是 你的想法。6

準確的表達並不重要 在傳達指令時; 溝通才是最重要的。在該參數內，Clearer 可以使用 任何需要的東西，只要它是 合乎道德的， 以獲得



對另一個人的思想或指示 。 傳達它的思想與語言必須 是 精確的。 語言使用的不精確 反映了理解不明確。 帕坦伽利說：「當言語無法追蹤時，就會產生言語妄想 [真實]物體。7 我們必須小心並 認識到我們自己的不理解反映在我們的語言中。

在第一步中，其他事情也可能出錯 。Clearer必須 真正對客戶給出的任何答案持開放態度。 沒有 正確的答案; 只有 客戶對指令的 回答，只要 它是 對指令的明確回應 該特定說明或問題。知道回應應該是什麼 be 是一個錯誤，因為它 對該 用戶端 的實際 情況不 開放。

阿曼達正在與馬特合作，處理他與母親的關係。解開困難，很明顯， 它可能有助於處理馬特強烈的憤怒和內疚感。所以她 指示他：「告訴我你對你母親做了 一些你認為你 不應該做的事情。

她後來意識到，她從一開始就犯了一個錯誤。 馬特在之前的一次會議中告訴她的事情，關於他與母親的關係， 牢牢地印在她的腦海裡。 而她只是半下意識地想，他一定背著相當 對這件事有很多 內疚。 那是 他 一個十幾歲的孩子，曾經吸毒。 有一次，他襲擊了他的 母親，把她打得很重。 當她下達指令時，她心裡就想到了這一點。但這是 馬特在她的估計中做錯了什麼。就她所知，他沒有 認為這是一件壞事，但艾曼達 期待這種情況出現，並正在尋找它作為合規性。作為一個 結果，當馬特說的不是這件事時，她只半信半疑。她是 實際上並沒有對真實的東西開放 對於馬特來說，這成了一個問題，直到阿曼達意識到她對馬特的回應施加了限制。她沒有 願意在它本來可以的時候結束這種特定的技術 繼續前進更有用，因為她在等待馬特想出 這一件事。



如果用戶端給出 回應說 更清晰 不同意是正確的。在這種情況下， 迴圈不會 完成。 例如，如果 Clearer給出的指示是，“告訴我一些你喜歡的生活” ，客戶回答說，“我喜歡 報復工作中的人和混亂 提升他們的職業前景，“這可能是 Clearer難以接受的事情。 作為 任何人都可能真正熱愛 生活的東西， 因為它 不符合他們對什麼的看法 有對生活的熱愛。他們可能會確切地檢查為什麼 這是客戶真正「喜歡」的東西 以及那是什麼。 對他們來說意味著，但如果客戶是真誠的 他們的回應，那麼清除者必須簡單地接受這作為一種 合規性。

清除者有責任 確保 客戶理解並接受指示。如果出現此問題， 然後迴圈在開始之前崩潰。 如果第一次 或第二次不起作用，那麼繼續努力讓它傳達是很重要的。那是 不一定通過一次又一次地重複來實現;這可能會 使不理解 的問題更加複雜，並且需要很長時間。如果他們不明白， 就有必要 找到另一種方式來獲得 它橫跨。必須這樣做，直到很明顯該人已經得到 指示並知道 想要 什麼。 Clearer應該讓他們盡可能容易。然而，Clearer可能已經盡 其所能來傳達 它，但不確定 是否或 不明白。 確保他們得到它的 最簡單方法是 客戶 只需去 提前並遵守。 但他們 可能需要一段時間 要做到這一點，可能值得與他們一起檢查一下。更清晰 盡一切努力將想法或指示傳達 給客戶，直到 確定他們已經 得到了它。

許多事情都可能出錯，即使有這個聽起來相對簡單的第一步。 有很多陷阱會破壞迴圈 意味著不會取得任何進展 。 一開始可能是錯誤的指示。這 如果正在處理 的領域不是 該人當時真正感興趣的 領域，則會出現這種情況; 然後，這項工作是違背穀物 的， 如果有的話，也不會有太大説明。

例如，如果客戶端 剛剛發生了激烈的行 和老闆一起走 下了工作崗位， 只能考慮 後果，



那麼繼續 與她早已去世的母親溝通可能沒有説明 這一點。在回到 另一個領域之前 ，Clearer需要看看 當前的危機。 如果犯了這個錯誤，並且清除者繼續耕耘 面對最小的興趣，客戶將失去信心。 他們可能仍然會盡 最大努力遵守 並完成 工作，但實際上 Clearer 已經失去了他們。

這發生了 與一位來找我大約八次會議的客戶在一起。 事情 越來越棘手，大約從第四節課開始 ，我離開時會 感到沉重和困惑。我們似乎正在研究 好的、相關的材料，但 感覺 就像我在與一些模糊的東西作鬥爭。 第八節課後， 我也 很確定她不會回來 ，因為我們以如此平淡的方式結束，她 不知道她下次什麼時候有 空。 所以我 得到了諮詢，並真正專注於正在發生的事情 我們之間。

最後，令我寬慰的是，她確實回來 了，所以在第九屆會議開始時，我問她的情況如何， 以及 到目前為止，什麼有幫助，什麼沒有。 我對她的回答感到非常吃驚。 她告訴我，就在一開始的時候，她就提出了一個非常重要的問題，關於 她最好的朋友的情況。 但不是 問她 想要什麼 為了在這段時間里工作，我以為她丈夫的持續麻煩將是 我們會看什麼，我只是繼續這樣做。當時我想 這是一個 合理的假設 ，因為他們和他們之間的事情非常不穩定。 剛剛發生了衝突。但實際上她有 對她的朋友 的問題感到非常困擾，並且非常想解決這個問題 會話。 雖然我們顯然在隨後的五次會議中做了一些很好的工作，但現在我 立即看到 我們 根本沒有取得 太多進展 。 因為 她不再相信這項工作，坐在那裡彬彬有禮，順其自然，盡力而為， 但真的很怨恨我，感覺被忽視了。

在第九節課開始時的那次演講之後，一切都變了。 我真的明白 這 有什麼 影響， 承認我犯了一個錯誤。我們之間的氣氛就在那時變得清晰起來，我們勇往直前， 這真的是



感覺 我們在 一起工作。 我感到非常感動，事實上，我很謙卑， 因為她足夠誠實 地告訴我，而且我已經愚蠢地 我想我最瞭解她。



此人可能沒有正確注意 當指令是 交付，清除者 沒有注意到或繼續 無論如何，希望這個人能趕上。 是的 重要的是等到客戶的注意力就 在那裡。

米凱拉：當 弗蘭克來找我參加會議，他已經做了很多工作，尤其是在 啟蒙強化，並且非常善於向內看。所以他清楚地 知道 他 想做什麼 ，我認為 沒有理由不 繼續 下去。 所以我們直接投了進去。弗蘭克很熟悉 格式，所以我會去給出一個指令，比如，『告訴我什麼是 被壓抑在那個問題中，“他會在我給它一半時失去與我的 眼神交流。 通過觀察他，我很確定這是因為 他太渴望 開始了，以至於 他 開始 向裡面尋找回應。 甚至在我完成 教學之前。 他很快就會帶著一個 經過深思熟慮，有時甚至是強有力的反應。所以我犯了一個錯誤並假設了所有 很好，並允許這種情況繼續下去。但大約 30 分鐘後，似乎 我說能量已經從 會議中消失了。 我正在下達指令，他正在回應，一切看起來都很好， 但我 只是知道 不是，我有一個 想法 ，這是關於眼神交流 的事情 ，因為它 有點困擾我 。 我告訴自己 沒關係，但確實如此。所以我暫停了會議，和弗蘭克談到了 充分接受指導並看著我之前的重要性 在自己內心尋求回應。

他明白了，我們重新開始。這次我下達了指示，弗蘭克留在我身邊，盯著我。 聯繫，所以我知道，我可以立即感覺到不同。他只看了 當他得到指示后，他做了一些新的事情： 他 停下來真正接受 指示 並 考慮 回應。 然後我得到的回復品質 完全 不同。 他以前一直非常 開放和清晰，但感覺就像


我們 和質量之間正在進行 真正的工作 現在的參與。 結果，弗蘭克達到了一個很大的目標。 比我認為 如果我們像以前一樣 繼續 下去，他 會 發現的更深層次的洞察力。 在會議結束時 ， 當我問他是否有 任何評論時，他 立即 說他 很感激 我阻止了它 並澄清了 該怎麼做。 他說 他已經非常 熟悉這種工作風格， 它變得 有點自動，但是，當他等待 聽到 指令時， 他 立即 感覺我很 想知道 他。 這讓他覺得 更脆弱，但也被感動了，他說 他發現自己想出了 不同類型的 反應， 感覺 就像很多 更多關於 什麼是真實的 他。



我們可能犯的另一個錯誤是沒有直接向我們面前的人說話 。 出於這個原因，我們可能不會 注意到他們是否得到了它。 幾乎任何事情都可能出錯;這可能超出了客戶當前的能力 理解或遵守。這對他們來說甚至 可能太容易 了，所以他們遙遙 領先並失去興趣。 在使 指令直截了當和 清楚地 傳達給客戶。

The first step: giving the instruction

What needs to happen for a clearing communication cycle to be successful is that a clear thought must be conveyed to another person such that they have a task to perform and know what they must do to comply.

…get clear on what you want the person that you are helping to do and to get that thought across to him so that that person understands it. When you do this the person then knows what you want him to do.5

We are vague in our conversation with people much of the time; it is not OK to be vague in this situation. The thought, as an instruction ideally, but maybe a question, must be conveyed to the client fully and wholeheartedly without drama or emphasis. The Clearer must also really want to know what the response is going to be.

For instance, if there is the clear thought to tell me something you regret (about a particular situation), then that entire thought needs to be straight in the Clearer’s mind before saying it. Then it should be delivered clearly and fully. It is important that the client understand and receive that thought fully, so the Clearer must do whatever it takes to achieve that end. They might first need to explain that they are going to give the instruction and, if necessary, why they have chosen that particular instruction and what it means, before giving it.

If you don’t know what you’re after, what can you possibly communicate to the [client] but confusion? If you get the question off of a piece of paper and deliver it to the [client] without a full understanding of it yourself, what the [client] will receive is just that: a bunch of words with some vague idea that it says on a sheet of paper that the [Clearer] should ask. That is the thought he will receive. He will actually get that thought, because that’s the thought you have.6

The precise expression is not what matters in getting the instruction across; the communication is what matters. Within that parameter the Clearer can use whatever it takes, as long as it is ethical, to get the



thought or instruction across to the other person. The thought and the language used to convey it must be precise. Imprecision in the use of language reflects unclear understanding. Patanjali says, ‘Verbal delusion arises when words do not track [real] objects.’7 We must take care and recognise our own non-understanding reflected in our language.

Other things can also go wrong in this first step. The Clearer must be genuinely open to whatever answer the client gives. There is no right answer; there is just the answer the client gives to the instruction, just as long as it is a clear response to that particular instruction or question. Having an idea of what the response should be is an error since it is not being open to how it actually is for that client.

Amanda was working with Matt on his relationship with his mother. Unpacking the difficulties it became clear that it could help to work with Matt’s strong feelings of anger and guilt. So she gave the instruction to him to ‘Tell me something you did to your mother you think you shouldn’t have done.’

She realised later that she had made a mistake right from the start. Something Matt had told her in a previous session, about his relationship with his mother, had stuck firmly in her mind and she had only semi-consciously thought that he must surely be carrying quite a lot of guilt around about the incident. It had been when he was a teenager and had been into drugs. On one occasion he had attacked his mother and injured her quite badly. She had had this in her mind when she gave the instruction. But this was something Matt had done wrong in her estimation. For all she knew, he did not think it was a bad thing, yet Amanda was expecting this to come up and was looking for it as a compliance. As a result, she was only half-open to what Matt was saying when it was not about this incident. She was not actually open to what was true for Matt and this became a problem until Amanda realised the restrictions she was putting on Matt’s responses. She had not been willing to draw that particular technique to a close when it would have been more useful to move on, because she was waiting for Matt to come up with this one thing.



Another problem can arise if the client gives a response that the Clearer does not agree is correct. In this case, too, the cycle will not be complete. For instance, if the Clearer gives the instruction, ‘Tell me something you love about life,’ and the client responds, ‘I love taking revenge on people at work and messing up their career prospects,’ this may be something the Clearer finds difficult to accept as something that anyone could really love about life, because it does not correspond to their views about what there is to love about life. They might check out exactly why that is something the client really ‘loves’ and what that means for them, but if the client is sincere in their response, then the Clearer must simply accept this as a compliance.

It is the Clearer’s responsibility to see that the client understands and receives the instruction. If this goes wrong, then the cycle is crashed before it begins. If it did not work the first or second time, then it is important to keep working on getting it across. That is not necessarily achieved by repeating it again and again; that may compound the problem of non-understanding and take a long time. If they do not understand, it will be necessary to find another way to get it across. This must be done until it is evident that the person has got the instruction and knows what is wanted of them. The Clearer should make this as easy for them as possible. However, the Clearer might have done what they could to get it across but not be certain whether or not it was understood. The easiest way of being sure they got it is that the client simply goes ahead and complies. But they might take a while to do this and it could be worth checking it out with them. The Clearer does what it takes to get the thought or instruction across to the client until it is certain they have got it.

Many things can go wrong, even with this relatively simple- sounding first step. There are numerous opportunities for pitfalls that will derail the cycle and mean no progress will be made. It might be the wrong instruction to begin with. This would be the case if the area being worked on is not really where the person’s interest is at that time; the work is then going against the grain and it will not help much, if at all.

For example, if the client has just had a blazing row with her boss and walked out of her job and can only think about the consequences,



then it may not be helpful to continue to work on her communication to her long-dead mother at that point. The Clearer would need to look at the current crisis before going back to the other area. If this mistake is made and the Clearer ploughs on in the face of minimal interest, the client will lose faith. They will probably still do their best to comply and do the work, but really the Clearer has lost them.

This happened with a client who had been coming to me for about eight sessions. The going had been increasingly sticky and, from about the fourth session, I would come away feeling heavy and confused. We would seem to be working on good, relevant material, but it felt like I was fighting something blurry. After the eighth session, I was also pretty sure she wouldn’t come back because we’d ended in such a flat way and she hadn’t been sure about when she’d be free next. So I got consultation and really focused on what was happening between us.

Finally, and to my relief, she did come back so, at the start of the ninth session, I asked her how things were going for her and what had helped and what hadn’t so far. I was quite taken aback by her response. She told me that right back near the start, she had brought a really important issue to the session about a situation with her best friend. But instead of asking her what she wanted to work on that time, I’d assumed the ongoing trouble with her husband would be what we would look at and I just went on ahead with that. At the time I thought it was a reasonable assumption to make, as things were quite rocky between them and they had just had a confrontation. But really she had felt very troubled by the issue with her friend and wanted badly to sort that out in the session. Although we’d apparently done some good work in the subsequent five sessions, I could immediately see now that we hadn’t got anywhere much at all because she’d stopped believing in the work and was sitting there being polite, going along with it all and trying her best, but really resenting me and feeling unheard.

After that talk at the start of session nine, everything changed. I really understood what effect this had had and admitted I’d made a mistake. The atmosphere between us clarified right then and we forged ahead and it really



felt like we were working together. I felt very moved, in fact, humbled that she’d been honest enough to tell me and also that I’d been fool enough to think I knew best for her.



The person might not be paying attention properly when the instruction is delivered and the Clearer did not notice or went ahead anyway hoping the person would catch up. It is important to wait until the client’s attention is right there.

Michaela: When Frank came to me for sessions he’d already done a lot of work, especially in Enlightenment Intensives, and was very well practised at looking inside. So he came along with a clear idea of what he wanted to work on and I saw no reason not to go ahead with that. So we plunged right in. Frank was familiar with the format, so I would go to give an instruction like, ‘Tell me what was suppressed in that problem,’ and he would lose eye contact with me halfway through me giving it. I was pretty sure from observing him that this was because he was so eager to get going that he was starting to look inside for a response even before I’d finished the instruction. He would quite quickly come back with a considered and sometimes powerful response. So I made a mistake and assumed all was well and allowed this to continue. But after about 30 minutes, it seemed to me that the energy had gone out of the session. I was giving instructions and he was responding, and it all looked OK but I just knew it wasn’t and I had an idea it was something about that eye contact because it was bothering me a bit. I’d told myself it didn’t matter, but it did. So I paused the session and spoke to Frank about the importance of receiving the instruction fully and looking at me before going inside himself for a response.

He understood and we started again. This time I gave the instruction and Frank stayed with me, holding eye contact so I knew and I could feel the difference immediately. He only looked away when he’d got the instruction and then he did something new: he paused to really take the instruction in and to consider the response. The quality of responses I then got was quite different. He had been perfectly open and clear before, but it felt like


there was real work going on between us and a quality of engagement now. As a result, Frank reached a much deeper level of insight than I think he would have found had we carried on as before. At the end of the session, when I asked if he had any comments, he immediately said how grateful he was that I’d stopped it when I had and clarified what to do. He said he’d become so familiar with the style of work that it had become a bit automatic, but, when he waited to hear the instruction, he instantly felt like I wanted to know about him. This made him feel more vulnerable but also touched and he said he found himself coming up with different kinds of responses that felt like they were much more about what was really true for him.



Another error we can make is not addressing ourselves straight to the individual in front of us. For this reason as well, we might not notice whether they got it or not. Almost anything can go wrong; it might be beyond the client’s current ability to understand or to comply. It might even be too easy for them, so they are way ahead and lose interest. There is a lot we have to get right in getting the instruction straight and getting it across to the client clearly.